I can be many things at once
and create what i know is safe
except for protect myself against the truth
against reality, and what's humane
i can do what must be done
for everyone to feel secure
but i can't keep it under control
long enough to make things right
im keeping myself alive
but that's all i know to do
and all i've ever known to love
is what it feels like to make it through
i think i've ruined things in ways
i cannot go back to, or find myself again
it's an endless cycle of hoping i can fix things,
knowing what we have to pretend