This time I'm not so manic
now its been a year since
we
talked

Its not like thats a bad thing
were both still alive
its not a good thing that
I keep track of days
by the divider for medication

It feels like no time at all
just blackout and wonder
what happened all those times
you scared me, so much
I couldn't hurt you like you wanted.

I remember vividly
when you were riding me
and asking what we could do
I said I could love you
and that wasn't enough

What more do you want from me?
Its yours.
I just need this settled- am I yours?
I know you are mine.
I put a spell on you before

We broke up in email

I regretted it instantly
I curse the modern hand of man
just for the separation I felt
from you , the moment we first talked

Down the hall
through text

I remember the first time your beauty
ever rendered me speechless
and the years that my broken heart
convinced my head to be alright.

Well I'm not. and
I dont know if you are alright

I just know what I want to know.
I want to know why,
failure to let go of what I know
I want to see again and again.
Maybe its all in how you disappear

But Ghostie  - Here it is again
your beauty rendering me speechless
all in one picture that I thought
would be worth a million words.  

Well it is, but us remains impossible.