Awake from a nap feeling hot and sweaty in your arms.
You say I’ve been out for an hour and I get slightly sad.
That’s one less hour with you.
We have so much to do.
Why don’t we leave the four walls and lay under a fern.
In the long shade over our faces.
We can count birds or try to capture butterflies by hands.
Not too much force cause we don’t wanna crush them.
Nameless lover, can I finally call you by your name?
Give me your top albums.
I’ll listen to every one of them.
I’ll listen to them on my times away when I miss you.
Hope you’re listening to them then too.
We can listen to them together.
Add places to the list of places where I kissed you.
The bridge that’s slippery in winter.
A crowded bus stop.
That alleyway with tree branch arches.
Under the silk, thin as paper sheets.
Set boundaries so we don’t build on quicksand.
If there’s something I should know, shoot.
When you’re not in the mood to **** I’ll understand.
I’ll warm up a pillow, tuck you into bed.
I’ll make you laugh despite what’s happening.
Never bring you hurt deliberately.
Share every feeling that crosses my heart.
Tell you the proportions and the magnitude of the love I’ve developed for you.
I want to show it to you.
Beautiful like a flowering tree in the beginning of spring.
Watch it sway knowing you feel the same.
I want to love you, can I call you by your name?
Can we run away for a weekend?
Before they report us missing we’ll be swimming in the water.
The heavy cloth accentuating your body.
Your skinny waist.
Your shoulders I love to place my head on.
Then I can crack two beers and have a two-people party.
Or we can grab coffee downtown.
Walk instead of drive.
Enjoy the bright building walls and the fumes pouring out or cars.
Oh, so romantic.
Counting roadkill can be romantic when you’re with the person you love.
I wanna be the first person you think of calling when you feel crushed.
First person you call to share good news with.
First person on your people ranking.
Your comfort person.
I’d put you above Bianca and my profesora.
I’ll ask you whether I should have chili or smoked tofu.
Need to know which you prefer.
And not write that in a notebook cause that’s corny but remember it.
The most minute things.
I wanna feel like home to you.
An oasis.
A well in a desert.
Summertime dessert.
Supportive boyfriend.
Freak in bed.
Your #1 poet.
Dry and wet.
Hot and cold.
Day or night.
I wanna drop that pronoun and call you by who you are.
I want to hear it from your lips that I’m gorgeous even when my hair’s not done.
That the bags under my eyes are cute.
That my outfit is cunty.
That I’m not beyond change when I feel broken beyond repair.
I’d tell you I’m so proud to be yours.
Tell the whole world if you’re okay with that.
And if you’re not ready to shine alongside me, I’ll respect that.
I’ll not take it as you being ashamed of me like someone I sort of dated.
I’ll make compromises.
I’ll stay true to my promises and not churn them out like poems to bend into airplanes and throw to the wind.
But if you don’t care about what they will say I’ll show you off.
Like a diamond.
Like my proudest possession which you are.
We could go to pride together.
Pose for pictures and cause homophobes to fume.
Share perfume.
Share secrets.
Share pictures we took.
Nameless lover, **** the names of people who misunderstood you.
Not for calling you a *****.
But for raining on your parade and mine too.
God, I wish we could fold paper boats and push them forward on the flooding streets.
French kiss in the pouring rain.
Limited visibility but your face’s in front of me.
Polaroids and soulmate wristbands.
Cringy **** like that makes sense now.
But no cringy wedding vows cause we most likely won’t have that.
And don’t want that.
Do we?
We can start a garden.
Plant seeds and watch them grow.
Just to spend time out in the sun.
Go for runs toward the seaside town and walk back worn out.
Make mistakes together.
Sleep together.
Eat together.
Drink together.
Laugh together.
Cry together.
Travel together.
Be together.
Nameless lover, I want to reveal your name.
I want this.
I’ll give you everything I have.
It took reconnecting with nature and deep thinking sessions to come up with a conclusion.
But I’m sure of it.
I don’t know what I saw in those boys before.
To me you’re the prettiest boy in the world.
I love to say your name.
It’s like an angel’s kiss.
Candy melting in my mouth.
Addictive substance.
But a healthy kind of addiction.
You make me so mad sometimes but I recognize my jealousy.
I wish you would only talk to me.
Question why you don’t smile at me but do I smile at you?
Do I bombard you with compliments?
I’m fighting my shyness.
I am into you.
I apologize if I ever made you feel unseen or if I came off mean to you.
I’m very much in love with you.
I truly don’t know if you’re into me.
I can see the signs but then I question everything.
Why aren’t you making more moves?
You’re the more outgoing one.
And your extroverted nature terrifies me more than death.
But I’d rather die fighting for your love than give up now.
What if you’re unsure too and await me to start a conversation to make sure I’m willing to get to know you and you’re not clingy.
I adore talking to you.
I find little things about you adorable.
I sometimes can’t look at you because of how pretty you are.
I hope I get to address you in a future poem by your name.
I hope this ends well.
Cause I don’t know how this one will end.
I am out of ideas.
But never out of willpower to fight.
After all I want this.
I want you to be mine.