the world is cruel
enough to trap me inside my own head
anxiety plaguing
my ******-up head

one minute fully content
with simply breathing
and the next
wanting to throw myself
in front of a vehicle

"i don't want anyone to clean that up"
my thought process provides,
dictating my self-worth
with mere words and hushed whispers
directed to my ear

a searing pain brought
by the bullet shot through my head
it isn't real
but why does it feel like it is?

it hurts and it's bleeding
but i'm not dying
not yet
oh, what a cruel world.