In the past,
I used to cry at just the thought
that I wouldn’t get to see you—
not even your shadow.

Thoughts of you flooded and plagued my mind,
dragging me to the edge of destruction.
Your body and your mind enchanted me,
crippling my sense of peace.

You never truly cared about me—
not even once.
And yet…
if I had the chance to do it all over again,
I’d still get entangled with you,
even knowing you'd hurt me.

Sometimes,
I wish you hadn’t given me hope.
You should’ve been cold, distant,
mean or condescending.

But no—
you were kind,
sweet,
encouraging.

Even though you never loved me,
you treated me like a human.
And that,
that made me love you even more.