what am i doing here?
why am i waiting for someone who isnt waiting for me?
the *****, was mine to call
but now it seems liek the tables have turned
& its turned hard
what am i really suppose to be doing at this time of day?
well,
i know the answer to that question
& so do you.
yet,
im still here.
waiting, wondering, and wasting time that need not be wasted.
i've just finished my second glass of coffee
& im not going strong at all.
i feel like a ******.
waiting for my client to **** me,
so i can get money to feed my children of three different races.

She asked me if i wanted a light.
of course, i said no.
the dark parts of my brain is
coming to be the dark comfort of my day.
im sticky, & icky,
im not pleasant to touch or be with,
but im still here
why am i here ?