I’m *******
At this bus of non jazz enthusiasts
At my right *** cheek for hurting like hell
At my best friends for ditching me
At myself for holding it all in

This is too much
Life is too much
The world is too small
Yet if it got any larger I’d lose everything
Even myself

I want a way out
A way out of fighting
A way out of hiding
A way towards fairness
I want to walk into a room making smiles
Not painful whispers
Silent looks

I’m notoriously known for being easy to do wrong
By everyone
And I take it like they don’t matter
Because I don’t think I do
I can’t be blamed for this anymore
Can I just be nothing
A musician who can’t be close to others

Nothing ever works out in my world
Every opportunity is met with horror
Even my passion for music crumbles

I want a way out
An option to quit
But not to die
Not to restart
To be left alive