I surprise myself sometimes—
how I get through the day
with a smile
that feels nothing like me.

They ask,
“Why are you always smiling?”

I wonder that too.

Maybe it’s easier
than explaining the mess
underneath.

Maybe pretending
feels safer
than being seen.

But when the noise fades,
when it’s just me and the dark,
the truth catches up.

And I fall apart,
quietly,
like always.