When I was younger I craved attention
Because someone stole it away
I wanted to play with mom and dad
But it wasn’t just me
How can a girl go from only to oldest
That quickly?
I cried when mom loved them more
And I cried when dad said I was being childish
I was only two
Guess that’s what they expect when your oldest,
To have a mature, stable daughter
That will clean her dishes when the others don’t
And her room spotless
To this day I won’t live up to expectations
Never have and never will
There will always be something for me to do
Because I’ve messed up everything else.

When I was younger i would hit my own head
Out of stress and anger
Guess that’s what I get for being oldest
I’ll put stress on myself even if I don’t need it
And I’ll criticize everything I do because that’s all I’ve had my whole life
Dad always yelled about how my grades ******
And how I’d never have a life
Or a boyfriend
If I kept this up

Guess I’m the messed up daughter with the messed up face
I was told to not touch my face
So I’ve grown not to love it
And even now when I’m guilty I’ll spare the blood
Draw across the board like it won’t scar later
Guess that’s what I get for being the eldest daughter