It's been months, years in fact
that I've had this body hauling itself over me
it wont leave nor will it stay.

It's a darkness, a voice
a crawling presence I feel behind me.
It craves self hatred and pain.
It's the thoughts I get late at night
when I cannot sleep.

It fades once I give in
and grows when I resist.
It's the tears I shed when I see happiness,
because I cannot remember
the last time
I felt it