Exactly 53 weeks ago
There was a new spark in my life
Representative of growing up and feeling something
And for so long
I stressed about him and me
What we could possibly mean
So for all that time
There was something
And I thought it was keeping me going
Because I though I needed someone to be happy
In retrospect, he's still the person I saw
But now I see the flaws
And I've recognized my delusion
He acted as a distraction from my life
But then my life encompassed him
It hurts to read my prior poems and know it was all him
I don't need a distraction anymore
And he never needed me
It feels like the end of an era
An era I thought would never end
However, somehow I'm content with this ending
Maybe it's not final
It would be better if it wasn't
If I've learned anything
I've learned what to do
And I've learned what not to do
So the next time someone comes around
I won't make the same mistakes
And I will have the ability to have a sense of control
Before today, I needed to be controlled
There was so much wrong with everything about us
I thought it was right because my fear of being alone was greater than you
So now I sit alone
Wondering what will come next
And I hope it's wonderful
Because being with him
Taught me that I am wonderful
And I deserve wonderful
It hurts to know that I thought of him as something greater than what he really was
Now I know
I know that I can be wanted and I can be free
And if I follow my plan
I will be
It's the end of an era
An era that was bittersweet
Listening to folk music and reading reminds me that there are greater things in life
And it's time to channel my ability into something great
I don't know if this era will have a comeback
Maybe not
If this era has taught me anything
It has taught me that
I will be ok