i thought that you were in my life now because any sooner i wouldn’t have been right. i thought that all the experiences i’ve had leading up to this had prepared me for you. now that i’m not a cheater, i changed for the better, and i can finally love right. i thought that it was fate or something. that it was orchestrated by something beyond my comprehension. that you were being withheld or something and only after i had grown into who i am, only then was i ready. only when i was good enough. only then was i the person who could love you the way you deserved. maybe it’s another lesson for me. maybe this time it’s a lesson for you. what i know is i don’t want it to be a learning experience. i don’t want this to be another step on my journey. i want you to be the destination.  not a lesson but a reason why all the lessons mattered. i feel betrayed and i’m not sure by who. you told me you love me to tell me you’re done. i don’t know what love is to you.