i want to put together meaningful words with deep complex themes and truth beneath the surface. something about the beauty of impermanence or my tendency to overcomplicate. it’s like i want to capture my feelings in a cool edgy way but they’re just kinda lame. they’re not all that deep. they’re just dumb and cliche. i’m sixteen and girls don’t love me. i don’t like school. my friends don’t like me. i don’t have lines that hit you hard or metaphors that linger in your head. i don’t have rhyme schemes that i find naturally, i have one fish two fish red fish blue fish. i don’t have a truck that i’m in love with. and i don’t have a girl that will let me love her. i don’t have a dad that i hate. or one that i adore. i’m just a self sabotaging hyper romantic man *****. i want to write about silent screams or a shadowing crowd, or a deafening silence, or quiet meaningless vows. i have girl that wanted me to grab her ****. i have scabs on half my knuckles. i have battered and misshapen fists. i have an ex that ****** my brother and then tried to **** my ****. i have an ability to drink cheap ***** without the risk of getting sick. i have notes in my phone full of meaningless rhymes. and and tendency to fall asleep at inconvenient times. i lost my rhythm if one there ever was. as for my rhymes i’m just grabbing for straws.