The day you left I curled my hands into fists, unravelling them into fingers that just barely hanged on. As if on hinges they swung and transformed into claws that I used to pull out my heart.

   Still pulsating in my hands I watched the pain leak out slowly, like water seeping into the ground. I watched my hurt and my greed fight for the light of living while I glanced out at you walking away. I don't know why but I'm sure you had your reasons. And that's fine. Everyone needs an escape plan, but I wish that plan included me.

   I wish you were closer I wish so many more were closer. So many faces I call family are farther away than I ever wanted. They live their lives without me so where's the ******* point? Where's my happy ending if the only ending is me being stranded in the dust?

   I'm selfish for wanting you. Not in a way that a man desires a woman, in a way that the loneliest person desires a friend. If I could I'd do anything in my power to keep you in my life. Cause when I love something I love it harder than I should. Lovers, friends, it's the same for both. I'm equally heartbroken and wish to have their names carved into my skin. I know best when I say that scars are there forever so if I could I'd have your name cut into me.

   The pain would hurt the same but it wouldn't be so bad if it meant I could keep a piece of you. I'd give up all I had if it meant for once I'd keep a friend.