i never used to notice the months going by
the days would slide beneath me
seconds simply passed

but the pain started to become noticeable
it could not be measured
slowly and then quickly
it became an intangible mess
something so elusive i debated its existence
but it was certainly there

i could not measure it

and so now i count

i count the months since
the days until
the seconds that wait

and then the pain can be measured
and perhaps i can start to heal