I watch as you
peer in
time to time
run careful fingers
over your face
whilst the rest of the world
has shaky hands

I watch as you
dance freely
door sealed
as the dulcet spirit
of the unwatched
occupies your soul

I watch as you
cry
tears so vile
they uproot you
tear you down
crestfallen ruins on the carpet

I watch as you
laugh the laugh
of the effusive seven year old
frivolously swaying
in the unserious grass

I watch as you
talk into me
criticizing the psyche
feeding the fastidious voice
that fills the gaunt hollows
of your being

I watch as you
return to mother
embracing together
the worn and niche blanket
who is molded
to your infantile shape
effacing all that is dishonest

I watch as you
stare intently
into the esoteric
eyes of your own
overanalyzing until the dark of the pupil
and grey of the iris
turn murky and lost

and then I watch

as the seven year old dies
along with the dancing
and laughter
as anguish assumes its position
dead center
in front of me

how I wish I could reach out
place a soothing hand
over the grey eyes
and say “it is better not to see”
placate the pain
recall the sturdy roots
only formed by relentless wind
remind you of the balmily warm blanket
and caring mother

oh,
how I wish

but alas,
as you fall apart
I can only do what I have always done

I watch.