Apr 26
theres nothing
I could or couldnt do
that wouldnt be
perfect
next to him
its so bright
and with everyone
in a combust mood
neither of us
can see in the
wind-obscured sunlight
its become a competition:
who will leave the other first
no words exchanged
but an intuitive mind knows
that its now or never
and that one
overpowers the other
in every way
embarrassingly
little ants
crawl
biting to remind me
"he wont talk first"
yet I enjoy the silence of waiting
I really couldn't just sit on a bench with him
without projecting rejection
and I had lost
I could or couldnt do
that wouldnt be
perfect
next to him
its so bright
and with everyone
in a combust mood
neither of us
can see in the
wind-obscured sunlight
its become a competition:
who will leave the other first
no words exchanged
but an intuitive mind knows
that its now or never
and that one
overpowers the other
in every way
embarrassingly
little ants
crawl
biting to remind me
"he wont talk first"
yet I enjoy the silence of waiting
I really couldn't just sit on a bench with him
without projecting rejection
and I had lost
I wrote this while sitting on a bench next to a guy I think is cute. We don't know each other, and he is very introverted and his sense of style is minimalistic. Mine is very loud and streetwear adjacent, while I sit on that bench next to him with a bunch of loud, sociable friends. That day, they had all left and it was just us. I felt like I was disrespecting his space, and that I was condescending to him. I still sit with him regularly when I see him, in a hope he'll talk to me (I know he wouldn't).
