hatred or happiness,
both feelings of passion

i hated everything,
the sound of pencils writing,
smells of books,
people typing.

people who sniffled,
cried, or weeped with joy.

i hated daily activities,
eating, sleeping, waking.
the joy of others
was somehow an annoyance to me

****** desires consumed me,
going atop women
i never knew,
searching for connection
somewhere lost.

stories of past loves,
experiences lost,
people forgotten,
never to be found.

thoughts of suicide enfold me
looking at the pills,
pressing the knife deeper,
tying the rope.

a new project in class,
i meet you,
conversations begin,
they become constant,
frequent.

tying the rope,
pressing the knife deeper,
taking the pills,
a message appears,
"i love you".

gagging myself,
the pills emerge with
a pool of blood.
gasping for air,
desperately trying
to find footing.

i don't hate everything anymore.