Catching a train of thoughts,
But I am always too late, ain’t i?
How do you expect me to be disciplined here?
It’ll be messy just like i am,
Crude and barely held together,
barely resembling a human,
and that’s how i shall write my poetry as well.

And just like as i age i slowly bond,
with these parts of myself,
slowly becoming and feeling like someone,
maybe my poetry and art
shall have some form too, eventually.

Forgiveness to oneself is more important,
than to anyone you know,
Once you can forgive yourself,
It's easy enough to forgive others.

Or maybe you’re just a narcissist,
I still struggle to forgive myself.
yet i am more comfortable giving in to my ego,
Self destruction doesn’t need forgiveness.

I hold grudges still,
i can’t let go ****,
Everything is personal to me,
Because everything i do is personal to me,
And my lack of vulnerability means one thing only,
That i don’t wish to do anything,
because it’s too personal to me,

You don’t deserve my innermost self,
and perhaps you don’t deserve,
even my outermost shell’s kindness,
All you’ll get is my bluntness,

Out of no fault of your own,
But it’s all vindication for me,
I feel cheated by this world,
And you shall face my spite.

I hate being kind,
and kind people,
it’s all been too fake for me always,
How can you be human and be kind?

That’s a power only gods possess,
and i am a non believer,
The only gods that can exist is in our minds,
And it all means one thing only,
You’re not kind,
You’re just polite,
and afraid of who you truly are.