I will be okay, she said to me                                                               ­                                                                 ­                                                           
wiping a tear off with her sleeve                                                           ­                                                 
                                                                ­                                              
blood shot eyes looking at me,                                                              ­        
                                                                ­                                              
smiling at me with false bravery                                                          ­              
                                                                ­                                                        Embarrassed by emotions shed,                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                                        
she put her hand on top of her head                                                            
                                                                ­                                              
Pushed me away & said,'' leave me alone''                                                          ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                      
I just need some time of my own                                                              ­  
                                                                ­                                                      
I did as she said out of respect,                                                         ­ 
                                                               ­                                                   
she reacted in a way I didn't expect,                                                          ­      
                                                                ­                                                  
she left the house, she was distraught,                                                      ­          
                                                                ­                                                      
I sat there, left with her thoughts                                                         ­       
                                                         ­                                                          
She was one of my best friends                                                          ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­         
after that day, never seen alive again                                                            ­      
                                                          ­                                                      
They found her after a few days                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                   
someone killed her in a bad way                                                              ­          
                                                                ­                                                      
I always felt responsible                                                      ­                                
                                ­                                                                 ­                 
but stopping her was impossible                                                       ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­      
If she had not run away,                                                            ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­           
she would still be here today                                                            ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­      
 So many things I wanted to say,                                                             ­     
                                                           ­                                                       
that may have changed that day                                                              ­    
                                                                ­                                                      
  I should have said,'' you can count on me''                                                    
                                                                ­                                                
That her friend, I would always be                                                  
                                                                ­                                                  
  and that if she ever fell apart,                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                             
that I would hold her broken heart,                                                           ­   
                                                             ­                                                   
until she was able to mend,                                                            ­            
                                                                ­                                                      
I loved her, she was my friend                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                           
now I am filled with, ''if only I's?"                                                            ­      
                                                          ­                                                        
and left with wondering why?