i am so in love with the other
but it does not know me--
as i sit and watch it dance
somehow right here
somehow beyond me
a fluttering love letter
that i find myself grasping for
reaching
for a single thread
a thread of other for my own.

i am so in love with the other
that i could not stay away--
once i found it
once i had it
folded gently in my hands
delicate petals and blustering wind
balking, straining, leaping away
but i found it and i had it
an other i could keep,
an other for my own.

i am so in love with the other.

i am so in love with the other
but the other, one day--
was not quite so other
instead quite so the same
and the blazing tendrils of fire
the heaving swells of salt spray
the things that i coveted, watched, adored--
they vanished so suddenly
as the other, my other
was no longer so other.

i am so in love with the other
that in a panic--
a confluence, a whirlwind of fear--
i tore myself apart
shredded the weaving, shattered the glass
i cannot have the other
or other it is not
so i threw it away, left it behind
stole glances as i ran
wishing
desperately wishing
to have the other as my own.