When Star Wars came to film in Ireland (in County Kerry the Blasket islands)
I wanted a part
I wanted to be like Darth (Vader)
I told them I knew the whole Star Wars Universe off by heart
From Ken Kenobi's desert hideout to Hans Solo's Big Bird, the Maltese Falcon
And the big chewy chap Wuzzy Bear
And the lovely Princess Leah with her lovely bunned up hair
I told them I could be Bard the wise old Shaman poet
At least I'd be better than that old fart Yoda
Well they looked at me a bit awry
I thought to myself "I got a bad feeling about this"
They turned me down, said maybe another time
I warned them "I might turn to the Dark Side"
I would have reached for a Blaster only I was already fairly plastered
They started to bundle me out the door
I was strugglin' and shouting "Yea Yoda Old Toadface
Get your hands off me, I'm talkin' Toad here man.... I'm talkin' Toad..."