How I Used My Nightmares to Become Rich and Famous
-
Well,
there was

this first one:
that i am stupid.

used that to
change my behavior; NOW-

I AM STUPID!
then, another:

guilt & shame for wanting to copulate
with all and every one;

used that to the
gentle way and came back

with
I am pink. Heaven and Hell are equally repulsive

to me!
love and love and love-

which i took to mean
SAVE EVERYONE,

anyone who cares and comes into my life
IS SOMEONE I HAVE TO SAVE;

oh bother!
so broke off a lot of ties-

those in which i was a savior - talk about BORING!;
and these others

where i became
the common denominator

and why?
so that id fit in.

and why?
because i was scared and lonely.

and why?
because its easiest to fit in and numb oneself.

and why?
well I'm a little bit of a RASCAL too!

and of course
the nightmare of POVERTY!

and of being FAMOUS
with the ability to sway one others life trajectory--

GAVE IT UP!
traveled amongst those on the belowpovertyline

slept on streets,
floors of trains,

meditated in toilets and latrines,
overlookong, rather!

and generally work with disgust and grimaces!
the other?

MADE MYSELF REPULSIVE TO ALL THOSE
WHO WOULD'VE BENEFITED

AND CHANGED THEIR BEHAVIOR
HAD I "MADEIT" (hah! flipp that doodle!);

and of course lastly,
torture-

opened myself so much,
became so in tune with expressing myself,

that i was in hell, well Sartres anyways-
always standing out;

and realised a concomitant fear-
standing out makes one conjure up scenes

in min,
where torture is very possible.

that one, bless the Divines,
helped me see how armored and sheltered i remain

always
in perpetuity.

AND THATS THE STORY FOLX
OF USING MY NIGHTMARES
TO BECOME RICH (a mindset not a bank balance!)
AND FAMOUS (being known past ALL the layers to the core of that which is probably mostly with ALL!)!

ha!