green eyes watch me from across the table.
calculating, all-knowing.
but never sharing.
she flashes me a smile as if she weren't just thinking of all the ways she could hurt me,
(**** me)

i know if i deviate eye contact,
that'll be it.
the detonation of a bomb.
as childish as it may seem; i cannot bear to look into her eyes for longer than the 20 seconds it took for me to fall in love with her and her fixation on everything that is wrong with the world.

she pushes her hair back as she nonchalantly eviscerates my thoughts.
sifting through them before deciding on the one that will obliterate me almost immediately.

she leans in and kisses my neck
with a predetermined chain of events.

i've already calculated her next detrimental move
but am too infatuated to put an end to it.
the detonator serves her purpose while whispering into my ear;
*i love you