I wish I could explain
The longing for words to come out
I wish I could explain
The unforgivable wait for my thoughts to become tangible
I wish I could explain
The magnitude of my predicament
I wish I could write it out for you
I wish I could scream it at the top of my lungs
With no mistake, no regret, no stutter
I wish you could hear me
I wish you could sense the tidy speed of this process
I long for a coherence between these parts of myself
The mind, the fingers, the tongue
The expressions and sincere meaning
Behind these useless words
The extension to which they bend the horizon upside down
The spiral they project onto the metaphysical
The waves they create within me
The chaos they chase