Let's get this straight, I understand
I've likely the leading role
Or at least lent a pivotal hand
At thwarting myself at every go

Contrary unintentionally
Speaking with nothing to say
Yet saying it anyway
To all in ear shots dismay

Bless this belligerent heart
Too stubborn to be told
That this **** is getting really old
If this was my first hand I'd fold

Dawn stole upon us
Before anybody noticed
Now, before my debts are called in
Not even a pair, yet I'm all in

After all this time I'd like to believe
That I'm at least being honest with me
No way to really know, unfortunately
The whole idea is me lying to me

So why does this seem like a mistake
Aftertaste of nostalgia in my mouth
I made a promise I don't intend to break
When I said forever I meant it, for goodness sake

Regret is a cruel master
With the voice of my own cruel laughter
Better that than complacency
Luring me back to disaster

I just keep thinking out loud
I need to quit while I'm behind
Wish I could lose what I found
when I lost what was left of my mind

More than whether or not to be,
What matters to me is the quality
Your absence the pinnacle detractor
And the only one I seem to factor

So where does that leave me?
Alone but finally free

Of the facets to your bespoke affection,
The one that bothers me the closest to none,
Your lack of credulity in my contrition
Fickle as the winter sun
No faith, even less appreciation

So where does that leave me?
Just myself left to interrogate

So where does that leave me?
Praying I'm the man I claim to be

Find it in you, yet another try
Closed your eyes before I could shine
These things tend to take their time
And I know I have taken mine

How cruel, all your efforts dashed
A check, written, signed, never cashed
Here I am, finally worth a half a ****
Your liquid investment, alas

So where does that leave me?
Where does that leave me?