Although this paper absorbs my pain, it doesn’t control my actions.
Hell, I don't think I even control them…
But I think I know what does,
My emotions.

Hence why I get traumatized by my own actions, the actions are reactions.
It’s almost like I’m in a coma, but I am active and I can see what I’m doing.
I just keep on seeing myself doing reckless stuff and wasting my breath on people who don’t even like me.

It’s just… I love how when I do something good; something out of kindness or love, nobody notices me, but if I do something bad or stupid, everyone looks my way.
I need something that will help me gain control.
My goal is to spread my pain like butter, if you are reading this, just know, the voices are getting frequent and louder…
Help me make them useful