Lei, a poem to you,
Because you didn’t think this through.
Yes, you were my first kiss,
But what did I miss?
Maybe you should feel how it felt to gulp down 72 pills,
Because your head was way over the hills.
And only one answer to ONE question will take my flashbacks away, or just might…
Was it spite or flight?
Because you made it feel like we were having a good time,
Hell I was even thinking about making you my prime.
But those lies to my friend didn’t tell themselves… you told them,
And I hope it wasn’t to condemn.
Like, to lose both a friend and the most important person in my life at the same time?
That’s not something I can happily chime.
Even when I reassured you if you were comfortable,
If you weren’t, you didn’t have to lie to my face and make ME seem questionable,
And then again lie about something I didn’t do,
And make me look like a bad person too.
Put it this way, you had MY OWN FRIEND cussing and yelling at me,
Can’t you see?
Who knows? Maybe you did this out of spite,
OR you did this at the risk of my own life just to take flight.
That alone, I have YOUR texts as consent,
And even ones I can’t present.
God dang AND you are the one who came up with the idea to do it,
But I feel for your trap anyway I can admit.
But to be the very first kiss and the very one I trusted,
I can’t help, but wonder why I was dusted.
It must’ve been really hard to find out that I overdosed on 72 pills that very night,
It was just too bad of an episode to fight.
I can still remember the songs I was skipping,
I can still remember trying,
I can still remember trying to cope,
But all in all, you made me lose hope.
I can still remember fighting to keep the door closed,
I still have the video of me when I overdosed,
I can still remember the horrible crying behind the closed door,
I can still remember curled up on the floor,
I can still hear the same **** voices in my head,
I can still remember waking up in the hospital bed,
But if it wasn’t for my friend, you might as well consider. Me. Dead.