You present clear skies
That upon closer observation
Are riddled with fog and clouds
This static that occurs
Little jolts deep in my guts
It's my fault
The skies were clear after all

The sun shines
And the days are warm
When you smile at me and laugh
Everything is going well

How many times will it take
For me to learn that it never lasts?
That the gust of guilt and shame
As the winds stir up again
Will always return?

How many times will I ignore
The cool changes
The subtle remarks
That wear away the deepest parts of myself?

Each time I realise
The clouds in my mind are yours
I will push back
I will get stronger
I won't be blown around again.