I get so angry I can’t handle it and then the sadness swells and swells I try to avoid it I try to distract myself with work and this and that and art  and then I feel it coming towards me
That feeling of wanting to go away
That feeling of wanting to disappear
To dissolve existence
It consumes me and I can’t sleep
I just sit with the feeling consuming me
Knowing I can’t give in to it I better not
to much relys on me to let go
But I don’t want to go on anymore
I try to push it away and it consumes me more
I try to drown it with anything that feels better but it doesn’t last
In the end it’s just me and the feeling sitting together forever