chuck norris can save you
chuck norris can save me
no need to fear, chuck norris is here

help! im stuck in a pit of my own grief
no need to fear, chuck norris is here

help! im dangerously overweight!
no need to fear, chuck norris is here

help! im slightly tired and home is still 2 block away!
no need to fear, chuck norris is here

help! no one respects me!
no need to fear, chuck norris is here

what would happen
if chuck norris were
to disappear?

would anybody remain
to listen to me cry?

would anybody remain
to help me die?

would anybody remain
to make my life
a red carpet walk
straight to heaven?