I thought ardour would make me an artist
Needing something to snap me awake, I was optimistic
Now im grieving and narcissistic
Because i'm angry at other people's tricks
That I didn't care about because I wasn't realistic
Too apathetic to feel the sting

Now I'm without a Beatrice to pine over
Embraced the idea that I'm not a loverboy
I'm just an average boy covering up
For many things, but among them that all my days feel the same

With all the stress on me
To people-please and to pick who I wanna be
Just a wannabe human that's falling on his face
Too straight-laced to get up
And happily skip around today

So I doom scrolled in bed
even though lights hurt my head
Because I feel too much
Trudging through the sludge of all I refused to feel

Reeling from my unhappiness
I turned to my poetry to cure my sadness
But without an object there's nobody or body to draw
Only the same thing: I hate myself, just throw the tomatoes as I talk!

Audience, I know you're bored
The tally marks show the score
That i've lost to myself a million times
So please, just give me a subject and I'll rhyme

I need something to let me stop being myself
I've projected for so long that I am greatly unwell