23h
Why do I do it?
Why do I stay?
Why do I always push my loved ones away?
Why does my mind always play games?
Why does my mind work this way?
Crying during the night because I was mean in the day
I will never be normal
I'll never be sane
I'll never stop pushing them away
I'll never stop these tears that highlight my pain
All this pain that I gained
All this pain that I earned
All this pain I deserve
I **** at being nice
I **** at being with people all the time
Sometimes I just want to be alone
And yet that's always wrong
Everything I do feels wrong
I can't be good to myself or others
And it makes me think
Why the hell do I stay?
Why do I get up every morning?
Why do I cry every night?
Why can't my life ever just be a constant shining light?
I'm no good to people they're better when I'm not around
But I can't bring myself to do it
I don't want to wake up in the mornings or cry at the nights
But I don't want to miss the days where I smile and everything is fine
I don't want to miss the days where I'm truly happy
And yet sometimes they're so far away that I don't know why I stay
In a life so dark and gloomy with occasional sun, why do I stay?
When no one is helping me push away the pain
I want it to end
I want my mind to stop
I don't understand why I'm not enough
I don't understand why I'm so broken
I don't understand why my mind is out to get me
I don't understand why I stay?
Why do I do this to myself everyday?
Maybe some part of me enjoys the pain
Maybe I ask for it
I'm a terrible person
Or maybe I'm not
It's not clear
My mind is telling me one thing and my heart tells me another
I'm confused
I hate this weather
Why do I stick out all the days in the rain just to have one perfect day?
That's just my life I guess
In one big lump sum
The pathetic loser just trying to be someone
Maybe I stick around because even when at my lowest there's still a glimmer of hope
Something telling me to keep going
That one day it won't hurt some much
That one day I'll be okay
That the future I pray upon will come true one day
Until then I guess I just hold on tightly to this life I have
Try to be better to the people who stay
Try to push the darkness away
Try my hardest to just be great
Maybe that's why I stay
Why do I stay?
Why do I always push my loved ones away?
Why does my mind always play games?
Why does my mind work this way?
Crying during the night because I was mean in the day
I will never be normal
I'll never be sane
I'll never stop pushing them away
I'll never stop these tears that highlight my pain
All this pain that I gained
All this pain that I earned
All this pain I deserve
I **** at being nice
I **** at being with people all the time
Sometimes I just want to be alone
And yet that's always wrong
Everything I do feels wrong
I can't be good to myself or others
And it makes me think
Why the hell do I stay?
Why do I get up every morning?
Why do I cry every night?
Why can't my life ever just be a constant shining light?
I'm no good to people they're better when I'm not around
But I can't bring myself to do it
I don't want to wake up in the mornings or cry at the nights
But I don't want to miss the days where I smile and everything is fine
I don't want to miss the days where I'm truly happy
And yet sometimes they're so far away that I don't know why I stay
In a life so dark and gloomy with occasional sun, why do I stay?
When no one is helping me push away the pain
I want it to end
I want my mind to stop
I don't understand why I'm not enough
I don't understand why I'm so broken
I don't understand why my mind is out to get me
I don't understand why I stay?
Why do I do this to myself everyday?
Maybe some part of me enjoys the pain
Maybe I ask for it
I'm a terrible person
Or maybe I'm not
It's not clear
My mind is telling me one thing and my heart tells me another
I'm confused
I hate this weather
Why do I stick out all the days in the rain just to have one perfect day?
That's just my life I guess
In one big lump sum
The pathetic loser just trying to be someone
Maybe I stick around because even when at my lowest there's still a glimmer of hope
Something telling me to keep going
That one day it won't hurt some much
That one day I'll be okay
That the future I pray upon will come true one day
Until then I guess I just hold on tightly to this life I have
Try to be better to the people who stay
Try to push the darkness away
Try my hardest to just be great
Maybe that's why I stay
