I'm always on the verge of another.
Breakdown.
Feeling my soul extricate itself.
From the premises.

Absent mindedly.
I stare into the darkness.
The permutations of my hallucinations.
Swirl in the darkness.
Lights in the dark.

Or is it
the blood coursing through my eyes.
Fluctuating in spasmodic undulations.
Something moving in a shadow.
A face my brain places into the dark.
Patterns associated with mind states.
Anger, depression, empitness.

It's all just such.
A trick of the mind.
Counterfeit spirits.

And I am  
Feeling the buildup of repressed.
Emotions.
But I gird my *****.
Tolerate the bottleneck.
Stave off the breaking of the dam.
By receding into apathy.

I must stabilise my circumstance.

Til the dam breaks.
And my life is ruined.
In yet another catastrophic incident.
To add to the list.
Of reasons why.

I'm broken.