Tonight, the stars wink out

One by one

I look at them

I wish I’d been allowed time to adjust between you

Caring

Then not

Did I make it all up?

How quick we connected

I felt you

Thought you felt me

Our jokes

Wants

What was in our hearts

We looked toward the same horizon

I saw you there

Touches between us blossomed into fire

We had it all

But we were diseased

Then

You got sick

I prayed to gods I wasn’t sure existed

Anything to let you be

I wanted to celebrate

Life with you could continue

Life

Second chances don’t always come so easy

I am so scared

That we used up all our luck

But when I think about it

What is luck

When knowing exists

For I know what my love entails

I have never been reciprocated

I thought this was different

So different

Never having to worry again

I’d found my one

When I tried to touch your face

There was a wall of ice

I’ve swore

Banged my fists

Shouted to any gods who might still be listening

Begged and sobbed

Every night

I reckon with the fact you are gone

I have not been able to accept it.