I had it all, didn't I?
Or did I just pretend?

The echoes of laughter I swore were mine,
The warmth of hands I thought would never leave.
I trace them now in empty air,
Fingertips brushing against ghosts.

Why did I do it?
Why did I become the very storm I feared?
I tell myself, "You had no choice."
I tell myself, "You had to survive."
But the mirror does not blink,
The face staring back is mine, yet it isn’t.
Its smile is twisted, its eyes empty.
And in the silence, it asks, "Was it worth it?"

"You changed."
I didn't.
"You did."
I had to.
"And now?"
I don’t know.

I claw at time, try to stitch it back,
Try to mold myself into someone who never cracked.
But the past does not bend,
And the future does not wait.

So I sit with it.
With the weight of what I’ve done,
With the weight of what I’ve lost.
And in the stillness, a whisper—
Maybe, just maybe,
One day, everything might be alright.