when i think of you
i smell bleach.
it permeates my nostrils
soaks its way into me.
i feel the wretch,
holding it just in the back
of my throat
it’s not that you disgust me
no, i disgust myself
with my entitlement
with the casual
way i wanted to use you
for my validation
when i knew how you felt
and even though nothing ever happened
i still feel *****
so i clean my mind and soul
trying scrub away what the
shame that lasts under the surface
it's a stain i don’t think i can get out
elbow grease be ******,

when i think of you
i smell bleach
so these days i don’t think much about you