it's six am on tuesday. it's winter, and it is cold. frost has built up on your window, so you can't see outside as you sit, alone, at your table, drinking coffee in your one bedroom apartment. the whirring hum of your radiator is the only noise that keeps you company. it is so cold and you can't help but wonder how your life would have been different (would you be happier?) if you had moved to florida with that guy you thought you loved way back when. but that was ages ago. there was no point thinking about that now. you shiver. it is really cold. you wonder how your heart keeps pumping warm blood when your insides have long since turned to ice. you drink another cup of coffee, trying to burn the hatred inside of you - maybe the heat will help you (it doesn't). you hear a kid crying outside. your heart does not skip a beat. you stare lazily through the frosted windows and wonder why anything bothers growing when it all ends up dying. and you wonder the same about humans. the earth is just an incessant reminder of your mortality; death is everywhere, wether you're a rose or a **** you will die, so in the end it doesn't really matter how becoming you were. you drink what is left of your coffee. with a quiet sigh, you get up and turn to face the window. nothing stares back at you. the wind doesn't howl. no one calls your name. you wonder how you keep on living. maybe today is the day you find out.