He handed me a vile of pills
I took the capsule with a glass of water
I could feel the lump go down my throat
I feel the same, nothing changed
The more pills I swallowed, the more
I tried to convince myself that this time,
this time it would be different.
But it wasn't
why isn’t it working
What was I doing wrong
I took another and another
Until the vile was empty
All the pills were gone
The world around me felt distant,
the edges softening. My vision blurred.
My pulse slowed.
I was dying
I had got what I wanted
I was free from this world
I could be at peace
I had got all I wanted.