It doesn’t matter how much you crave to be wanted;
if you are not desired, you vanish.
Someone will love you as you are,
They have to.
Right?
Or are you truly as unlovable as you feel?

Violent, sinister thoughts make you tremble;
You fight to hold them back,
closing your eyes to banish them.
Clenching fists to stay in control,
they terrify you.

These thoughts wound you from within,
scraping at the walls of your mind,
escaping in ugly ways—
a blade,
fingers pressing into skin,
nightmares that rob you of sleep.

You love suffering.
It gives you reason to be seen,
a bitter kind of attention,
a dark muse.

That’s why you’re never truly happy
You will always start a fire,
You would rather burn than be forgotten.