I stopped dreaming
when my days started to be grey
even when the sunlight
was coming in through the window
of my childhood bedroom.

I started to live in the dark
and I could hear my mom
asking was wrong with me
even my dad notice
all the versions of me,
how I can't open up,
how much I try to hide.

He said to me
one day I will break
and all my emotions will escape
and I won't be able to hold them back,
that one day I will find my way back.

And I hoped
they will still take me in.
I almost prayed
that if I ever find myself
they would be able to feel proud,
or at least something similar.

For now I'm just the younger
version of my mother
will all the bad habits of my father.