And suddenly it became very apparent to him

Very, VERY APPARENT

He wasn't to make it here

Not if things continued the way they were going

Rather

The way they've always been...

One of these days, he was going to finally hurt himself

Mortally

The thing was he couldn't bring himself to do it
with some kind of self-inflicted wound

Too painful

so he would more than likely fill his pockets with
heavy rocks and jump into the ocean

He couldn't swim after all

All because his prayers for HELP
fell on deaf ears

The creator made him exactly the way he was
so be could ultimately take his own life

He sat by the edge of the water...
watching the seagulls

and just listened...