It’s usually hated among teens,
loved by those invested in numeracy and problem solving,
going through the effort of finding a solution,
when knowing how to do so,
nothing beats the satisfaction.

It lives everywhere
etched into every aspect of life
a language in itself
It tears me whole

The main principle within is sense and logic
either of which i am not
Its purpose, to provide prominent solutions.

throughout my sums, the hours and days spent searching for each solution,
there’s been an addition of self esteem and awareness,
I took away my greater qualities.
Watched them burn from orange to black,
flying away into dust

I try to find an angle that aligns well to the external,
discovering simultaneous equations,
I started dividing my purpose easing each part,
to try and satiate those around me.
I started making sure there was no equal to me.
I started seeing a difference.

I’m much harsher marking myself, an influx of negativity.
I have thought of nearly every answer it could be
Yet the possible one seems endless
Manically manipulating formulas to change the answer

This board is long
I glance over at the remnants of scribbles to Then swim in the thought of before
Times when i hated long division
The glint of innocence over the subject
Where the naive start
All the mistakes that leveraged me to this point.

Reminding myself where i came from and what lead me here.
This division of purpose within myself to satiate those around me,
Doesn’t add up to keeping myself stable.
After all hypothesises
Null: Do not deserve attention
Alternate: Do deserve attention

I have only smelled chalk
I have only seen a board
I only know to solve

I thought that the right angle was 90 degrees, now that answer seems absurd

What degree will it take to see my good chances in my single self?

Will i be in my prime without being number 1?

Will i be able to tell the difference between right and wrong?

I can be a top scorer in this field,
only for the field of my issues will burn brightly

I forget maths is only to aid us,
not to guide

Where we are,
there is no guaranteed answer, games of chances we play,
to see what’s next,
to see what gives purpose.

We prevent perfection,
while leading pursuit.

We are to find x and always find x,
if not x then y,
if not y then z.
They amount to something, they have to.
Once resolved they are no longer letters but untied knots

There will always be a problem to solve.
We will always find solutions,
while leaving some letters behind,
assure yourself,
there is no shame just,

Show the work.