I get this feeling sometimes
In which I just feel like death is just around the corner;
So close,
Almost there.
I get so happy inside,
Finally my time has come.

But the moment never happens.
Because I am trapped here:
I am living in Hell.

Who knows, maybe I already did die.
And I somehow ended up in Hell
Being punished for my sins.

But you know what?
I don't know what i did to deserve this.
Any of this.

Really?
Is the torture really necessary?
Teasing me with small things that may,
At some point in time,
Make me happy.

Then taking it away from me,
Until i am left there,
Empty, worthless, broken.
I already don't want to be here.

Can you at least tell me what I did?
What I did to deserve all of this
Hatred, anger, towards myself

God help me.
If there even is a God
God, Zeus, Jesus, Abraham, whatever or whoever you are;

Why are you doing this to me?

What did I do?
Can you give me a sign.
A reason.

Why am I trapped?
Not dead,
Nor alive.

Why am I here?

Why am I chosen?

What did I do?

Why even create me in the first place,
When I have no point in being here.
I only cause people pain and misery in the end...

Why am I alive?

Why am I dead?

Why am I here?

Why me?