This burden I bear
Welcomed unconsciously
I seek validation in my mind
Thoughts that lie in catastrophe

When I spiral I shake
I smash and I break
The nauseous feeling I get
As if my life is at stake

My mind is my controller
Every second it devours
How come I think for hours?
Oh, a diagnosis that follows

….

Two weeks ago, the epitome of my demise
Arose from the doctor I tend to

I talked to my psychiatrist
“OCD may be the cause”
I fear I had not prepared
I always must make ready

“There must be another explanation!”
My psychiatrist looked me in the eyes
Then down at her laptop
Where her fingers sped

The silence was unbearable
This is a dreadful revelation!
“NOCD, discuss and I will follow”
“Will this bring me clarification?”

“Most definitely”

….

I spoke with the NOCD specialist
“Ah, yes, this checks out”
“Not just an anxiety disorder?”
“That's just a fragment”

…

Present day, I still gaslight my mind
Have I made a mistake?
Was it the words that I followed?
Had I caused a misunderstanding?

…

My mind is a trick
It orders, I abide
The diagnosis is final
But this isn't a new life?

Just a label, indeed
However, the treatment I need
I must learn my mind
And cure the thoughts I bleed