need a new addiction
to replace this influence
so intuitive to numb it all
instead of waking up
sinking deeper into death
a fatal coma

the neon is captivating
but only at night can you see its glow
otherwise it's agitating
invisible buried under snow

i think to hurt myself
not bothering to consider
there might be wellness
just around the scary corner up ahead

i fear what is foreign to me
because it might hurt me in a better way I do not know
craving to stay the same chasing after ghosts

i hate saying goodbye to the melancholy
it disturbs me in a blessed way
and i fear i won't be picasso or kahli
if there is no sickness or injury to taint me