This has held me back more than it’s ever pushed me forward.
This big feeling, a consuming fixation.

I’ve delayed myself for it, time and time again.
I’ve broken promises for it,
suffered the consequences, no matter how punishing,
not for my own benefit,
nor anyone else’s.
It hasn’t moved me closer to anything. It’s taken a limb but hasn’t taken me anywhere I’ve wanted to go.
It keeps me stagnant.