I do not remember how it started
well, actually, I do not remember it ever ending
the many thoughts I have about you every day

A friend of yours told me you broke up with her
and deleted your social media too
I guess it fell through
I might have been the one who blocked you,
and not the other way around
but either way, deleting you from my social media felt like I drowned

In a way it felt good others cant have you either
they cannot see your smile, they cannot see your photos
but they also cannot see your dark side,
or the way you lied

I feel a bit evil when i think
'good, I hope he feels like ****''
I hope his hands hurt from writing away his feelings,
and beating himself up
I hope his eyes hurt too,
from sleeping too little and crying too much
I hope everything that reminds him of her, or me
well me, if he ever thinks of me,
hurts him too

****, I'd love to say i do not miss you one bit
but i do

you started living near me
it hurt
nothing is mine
you consume me
my flat is yours
my supermarket is yours
my hometown is yours
my eyes are yours,
when i check if I will come across you
my thoughts are yours
my music taste is yours
my highschool years are yours
it is all yours
you took all of it
like a thief
you stole whatever innocence i had
they should jail you for that
but with your smirk and friendly blue eyes they never would

but i hope your mind, your thoughts
are your own jail
i hope you are trapped there forever
being tortured by what you have done

i do not hope you die, but i hope you suffer
i hope every day feels like a rainy, gloomy and sad day for you
i hope you suffer
and i hope you call me
i am still waiting
i am hoping
i hope dust collects a bit too quickly in your room
and your favourite parfume always runs out, just a bit too soon

i did see you today
i am not sure if you saw me too
i walked past you twice
pretending to check the price
of some bread i could see when i was facing you
well
i hope i will never see you again
well at least not like this
i would love to see you smile
i would love to see your soft side
i would love for you to call me
but you hurt me
so now i hope, you cry yourself asleep too

i will not hurt myself, to cut away the hurt you gave me
whenever i feel that urge, i just start praying, you feel hurt too