Here I am tarnished, a blemished soul
searching for anything to complete me, make me whole
As usual i'm starting to lose all my self control
My only interest in anything at this point is just rocking this **** bowl.
There are demons out on patrol
More corrupt and so cold I get the older I grow
I was always meant to lead instead of follow
The truth is sometimes quite hard to swallow
The time we have on this very plane is only ours borrow.
In past regret and sorrow I refuse to sit here and wallow
I swear I will try to do and be better tomorrow

How strong do I have to be? Strong enough to get back up at least one more time.
I'm more than just a little outside my mind.
Craving exactly what I don't think I'll ever be able to find
No sense running from the past if you can't leave it behind
Moving  forward right into the unknown. wandering blind

Armed with only my wit and a fountain pen.
I battle my enemies with only my words again
These battles either way I am going to win my friend,
So I guess I'll being see you on the other side then
In all of the chaos Discord stands a force for you to reckon with
For she is larger than life a legend not a myth
while I end up polishing off the rest of this fifth
I can't help but wonder if this is it. is this as good as it gets?
I try to show that I have at least a little intelligence
Oh the ******* hell with it
What you think really is  irrelevant.
We all have relatives that's have closets full of skeletons
Isn't that the right, your excellence
There is no case there is no evidence.
It's a hell of an existence
When a handful of sensitive Benjamins insisting on innocence
fonder your heart grows in their very absence
How do people keep living on in complete ignorance.
With every experience
I pray for my own deliverance
If I had other intentions I doubt it would make a difference

He swung open the door and there I stood alone in a thick cloud of smoke'
This empty room is really a sick sad twisted Joke
Smoke that is so stale and so thick you can't help but to choke
Feeling like i am at least a little woke
as well as  somewhat exposed
now i at standing here at this crossroad
.Im hallowed, I can't help but to be a cutthroat
I've got problems by the very shitload
teetering on the brink of a psychotic episode
My mind is begining to overload
For me it is just **** late for me to go rogue
Too soon for me to attempt to go ghost.
So as there chaos begins to unfold
I'll be right here, your **** right I am throwed
This story has since been rewrote.
These demons of mine i end up intentionally trying to provoke.
Just by the spirits that have chosen to invoke
My mental illness still has yet to be diagnosed.
I am still stuck in beast mode
its possible I think I am about to overdose
Im searching for the antidote
Not exactly the message that I was wanting to promote
Things haven't quite gone as I had hoped,
No I haven't been coaxed, nor have I been coached.
I am now here forever shadowed
as I lock and I reload
I didn't make it out but almost
Like a parasite feeding on its host
Dethroned, dead I decompose
That's the way it goes I suppose.
Im constantly sitting here steadily  ******* up
I don't even care if I happen to get caught
Bring on the onslaught
As the puddle in this bowl thickens so does the **** plot
I am just what I am and what I ain't i'm not
I have put quite a bit of thought into becoming a distraught astronaut.
I  may have very well been forsaken but I"m not going to be easily forgot
Everything that's going on is really rather a lot
So let the **** bodies just sit here and rot
and we will go and smoke some ***.