I want to do it
I want to drive a knife into my neck
I want to jump in front of a car
I want my lifeless body to hang from the ceiling
Held up only by a thread
I want to drown in my apathy
I want to suffer
because suffering brings great art
right?
maybe if the art's not great
then that's okay too
just feel sorry for me
someone
that girl I used to love never loved me
she doesn't talk about me in her journal
she can read house of leaves just fine
she's not the reason for this though
I guess I could blame her
but it's all me
I have nothing
I have no talent
I have no drive
I have no passion
I have no work
I have nothing
god forbid I actually live
I'm just so scared
so fucking scared of life
this is existence
this is existence
i'll repeat it five hundred times
and hopefully it will stomp
Into my brain
this is existence
there is no heaven
there is no hell
no god above
no devil below
no reincarnation
no karma
the only invisible force that's reliable is gravity
and even then sometimes that won't work
I have nothing
please forgive me
please please please please please please